I’m continuing my fascination with the Enneagram. I’m pretty sure that I’m a 9 (the Peacemaker), but I’m a very five-y 9. (This is not actually a thing, but I relate a lot to 5, which is the Observer, who tends to be a little bit isolated and intellectualizes, and on one test, I typed as a 9, and the wing they gave me was a 5w4. Wings are the types right next to yours— if I’m a 9, my wing could only be an 8 or a 1, so they said I was a 9, but if I wasn’t a 9, I’d be a 5 with a 4 wing. Pretty impressive mental gymnastics, there, as the 9 is in the gut triad, the 5 is in the head triad, and the 4 is in the feelings triad. Covers a lot of bases.) They say a lot of 9s want to be 5s, but it’s pretty rare that a 5 would mistype as a 9. Nines want to be more profound than we are, apparently. Flattering.
There are a lot of things coming together in me, right now, and I’m not always crazy about how they are coming together. For example, I was talking last week with someone important to me, about how the life I’m living is not what I had in mind for myself, but that it’s kind of okay, because I see how it comes together in a particular way. There’s a George Bernard Shaw quote I like that says “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one…” And I really think that.
I freely admit that I’m non-confrontational. It takes me a lot of energy to confront someone, and even if I’m successful, I don’t get a corresponding boost— I just don’t get that energy back.
Let me just start by saying I’m overreacting and I know it. Also I’m sick, which doesn’t lead to my best decision-making. One of my coworkers just pushed one of my buttons. I call it “the Secretary button.” The last time it got pushed, I quit my job. Not immediately, but within six months, as a direct result.
I was thinking about doing another batch of pickled collards with my harvested collards, last weekend, but I thought it might be interesting to try collard kraut, instead. I have an interest in the probiotic opportunity with fermented foods, but, aside from sourdough, I haven’t ventured deeply into it. I tried my own cider vinegar made of apple scraps, but after a promising start, didn’t get anywhere. I also tried to make my own ginger soda, without success.
I’ve mentioned it before, but there’s a woman in my Toastmasters club who consistently remarks, in her evaluation forms about the speeches I give, about my chest. Once it was that I wore the wrong bra. Today, she suggested that a skirt would have balanced out my “lovely bustline” better, and drew a little picture.
Things are getting interesting, heading into Fall. My Toastmasters crew exploded a little, with someone on the Board going after a long-time member who’s given a lot of time and energy to the Board out of sheer generosity of spirit. I was heartbroken to see it, but the way the current president stepped up to deal with it was a great example.
Today, I gave a passionate speech about the nature of a good argument and the principles of mutual respect that govern argument. I cited extensively from a chapter of Brene Brown’s new book Braving the Wilderness. I’m a bit of a Brene-head, so you can’t go by me, but I think everyone in the country ought to be required to read this book and discuss its ideas, right now. Like, posthaste. I will totally wait, while you go get it from your local bookseller or library.
Ready? Moving on.