In some ways, it’s slow going. In some areas, I’m making decent progress. I still have the clarity that a life with only a weekly Facebook check has given me (and in the Cambridge Analytica days, feeling better than ever about that.)
I have a call in a little less than two hours (this would be the one with the completely foreseeable hijacking). I’ve been coordinating this call for weeks, starting with a WhenIsGood, in which I indicated several windows of availability for people (taking into account their time zones.) I took the time at which the most people could attend, scheduled a conference call for that time, and I sent a calendar invite for people including the relevant dial-in details. The time and time zone are explicitly mentioned in every communication. The calendar invite auto-adjusts for people’s time zones.
I make these predictions, sometimes, and people think I’m being negative or dramatic. Recently, I predicted that, based on the vociferousness of her opinions and the tirelessness with which she’s approached everyone related to this issue, a member of a volunteer board was going to try to take over a call that we’re having tomorrow, and suggested that we should have a strategy for coping with it. My boss and the consultant with whom I work both thought I was being controlling by suggesting we manage this proactively.
Before I could even send out the official agenda, she’s sent an email to all of the other members of the board, advancing her own agenda before we can articulate ours.
Sadly, no prizes for being right about this kind of thing. I’ve checked.
I’m deep into no margin territory. I feel like I need to start a countdown to when I’ll have margin again. Yesterday’s day-off ridiculousness:
- Up early to feed the dog, take trash out (5:30-6:30 a.m.)
- Home with breakfast for Mom
- Clean yard/house for possible family visit (by noon)
- Family visit (noon-3)
- Stop at out-of-the-way grocery store with Mom on the way home
- Home, start chicken broccoli fettucine alfredo soup and brown bread for dinner (5 p.m.)
- Walk dog while it cooks
- Serve soup
- Make soda bread for home and work potluck (9 p.m.)
- Plan lesson for Saturday
- Make tuna salad for Mom (10:30 p.m.)
- Clean up kitchen/store leftovers
In time to be back up by 5:30 a.m. for today’s Toastmasters meeting. Today will have fewer items on it because of work and travel, but is no less insane. All of this would be fine if it were exceptional, but it’s more routine than it should be. I think I need to aim squarely at a schedule that is 75% less insane.
Logic is a second language for me— one that I’ve spent a lot of time learning about and cultivating, but it’s not where I started. I started out a very emotional, instinctive person.
Logic is great, because being emotional and instinctive is not always what makes me happy, and it’s certainly proven more of a barrier to success than an enhancement, in my experience. I’d say that logic gives me the sense of having some agency in a world that can otherwise feel pretty dark and confusing. But I can’t discount the truth or value of my emotional and instinctive experience.
I noticed, this week, that I’ve been doing an especially good, A-plus degree of awesome on cooking. I teach a class at church Saturday morning, and I usually bring lunch home to share with mom after that so we get a pocket of time to visit between my class and my errand-running/out-and-abouting, which I did Saturday, but beyond that and the potlucks of Sunday, I’ve cooked every breakfast, lunch and dinner we’ve had (as long as you count the leftovers, which I totally do) this week, and I can’t rightly remember the takeout opportunity before that. I grabbed a post-Toastmasters breakfast to wear into work on my shirt last week— maybe that.