There are times when Grey-Area Guy knows things I haven’t explicitly told him. For example, his timing has always been pretty crazy— he just seems to know when to reach out and what to say when he does. Friday, I wrote here about “marathon, not a sprint,” and in our conversation later that day, he used that expression with me. It’s not the first time something like that has come up.
It’s possible that I told him about this blog, at one point. I don’t think I did, because I’ve always felt nervous about how a guy would feel if he knew I was writing about him, even if I was doing it anonymously, but maybe I told him about it assuming that he, like many people I’ve told about it (even people I’ve repeatedly and explicitly asked to, like the BFF), would never actually read it. One of the things that has always meant a lot to me, between us, is how he has supported my writing, so it might have come up. It’s an anonymous blog—I know I didn’t intend to write about him in a way he’d recognize, when I started this whole thing— we were a year out from that first break-up then, in a friends-only place, and I didn’t know there’d be another act (or three). And there’s a lot of water under the bridge he and I share. Maybe he stumbled across it another way. Maybe it’s a coincidence— the odds of his using that expression when he did last week are not terrible. And his referencing ghosting after I wrote about it. And a handful of other things.
So I’m testing the theory. If you’re reading this, Grey-Area Guy, let me know (privately is fine). I’m not opposed to your reading it, and I’ll try not to write differently because I know that you’re out there hearing what I’m saying. But I would like to know.