It’s been a stressful week. It’s going to be a stressful weekend, followed by another stressful week. Not that there will not be blessings in all of it, but that’s just what my corner of the world is like right now.
I have an automatic interrupter feature that keeps me from going off on people in stressful situations. Someone takes a shot, I notice, but my default is not to respond in the moment. It’s actually kind of great. I wish I could take credit for this feature, but it frankly came of some experiences I wouldn’t wish on you. It’s the blessing that came from some pain. I experience a delayed reaction.
The problem is that I don’t get to say the thing I need to say in the moment. So for days now, as I think about how I want to respond to someone who has taken a shot, I catch myself rehearsing in the in-between times. I can’t tell you how many times this week I’ve been driving or walking to my car or exercising, and I catch myself muttering (out-loud or in my head) “here’s the thing…”
It’s happened so many times that I can’t stand my own the use of the phrase, anymore. Now I’m almost as annoyed by myself as I am by the precipitating events.