The Eye of the Beholder

As I watched the conversation develop in response to a recent post (not something I normally do, but my level of overwhelm kept me a bit on the sidelines of this particular conversation, over the weekend), I started to get a different sense of the subject. I do want to start intentionally making time for some things in my life, in an effort to make it a life better lived. But I’m treating it like an obligation— a real “eat your vegetables,” thing. Must. prioritize. obligations. Must suffer…

The thing is, for me, all of the things I’m trying to find time for are about joy and fulfillment. I don’t “have to” go work out, I get to go out and enjoy being active outside. I get to spend some time being creative. I get to meet people and flirt and have fun, and maybe find a connection worth building on. And to the extent that I don’t like aspects of some of them, like online dating, I hereby formally declare I don’t have to do online dating if I don’t want to. I can meet single men other ways, or I can find a way to do online dating that works better for me. No suffering need apply!

Are these things good for me? Yes. But this is not no-fun territory, for me. So by framing it as an obligation, I’m loading it with all kinds of things I don’t want, and making it painful.

My life is painful enough. These particular tasks are me, opening curtains and letting in some sunshine, not painting over the windows and locking the doors. This is not like the Lenten cleaning challenge, this is more laughing, more energy, more fun.

So I’m going to try to treat it that way. And you have my permission to call me out on it when I start making it sound like cleaning toilet bowls, again.

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