Opinion Poll

So my ex, who popped up at the beginning of February, pursued me for dinner plans, and then disappeared when I finally said yes? Popped back up again yesterday with a “Wow, sorry to disappear! Life got crazy!” message.

Here’s what we know:

  1. I don’t want to get back together with him.
  2. He broke up with me, so there’s a strong chance that I’m more convenient than compelling, for him.
  3. I’m not angry with him— I’m open to being friends, but I’m not sure that’s a sensible option for either of us. Especially given how flaky our “friendship” appears to be. And certainly, he seems, when focused, more like he’s courting than being a friend.
  4. Representatives from my IRL crew want me to impose a “no more single-guy friends” rule, because they think I waste time with flirty friendships instead of pursuing something with actual potential.
    1. I think this is an extreme position, but I can’t deny that I waste a fair amount of energy with romantic-esque relationships with guys with whom I’m not ever going to be seriously involved (or at least, guys I know I’m not interested in dating based on a knowledge that we’re not headed in the same direction.)

So my question is this. Do I even answer the message, at this point? I would normally answer it because I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not sure that it’s a good idea to keep feeding this, given how little energy I have for the things I actually want.

Vote early, vote often!

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One thought on “Opinion Poll

  1. Update: I wrote him this morning. I don’t like blowing people off, even people I’m not actively fostering relationships with. I do it only when more severely provoked than this. I answered his questions about life and work (briefly), and said no worries about his falling out of touch. But I included this line: “With that said, it might be a time-saver for both of us if I mention that, while it’s nice to hear from you and I hope you’re doing well, I’m not really up for dating again.” I sat, feeling queasy about how it would be received for a couple of minutes and then just hit send. He took it well, not arguing with me or wheedling or asking me to elaborate. We made some polite chit-chat and then he went away. Which is kind of a best-case scenario, if it lasts.

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