“The Truth Has Legs, It Will Always Stand”

I’m listening to a talk between Rayya Elias and Elizabeth Gilbert, and Liz Gilbert just quoted Rayya who says “The truth has legs, it will always stand.” They made the point that it’s going to come out sooner or later, so getting it out as soon as possible is the best thing.

Timing is everything, isn’t it? I’ve just been worrying about this. I’m not being non-confrontational in the new gig, and predictably, I’m not making fast friends, as a result. I’m not picking fights, but I am trying to be straightforward, and it’s uncomfortable.

My entire life, I’ve been non-confrontational. I’m a pleaser by nature. I can’t tell you how emotional it is for me to have gone to the physical therapy place and said “I didn’t have a great connection with this person, so can I work with someone else, please?” Instead of letting a project be late, I’m saying “we’re not making the kind of progress we need to, to make our deadlines, so I can tell you from here, it’s going to be late.” “We’re not going to be able to deliver on the promise you want to make about that, because our process isn’t there yet.”

Fortunately, for me, I have some friends here who know me well, and some people who (seem to) appreciate what I’m bringing to the table. But I found myself wondering this morning “wouldn’t it just be easier to be the sweet pleaser I used to be?”

But the truth has legs. It will always stand. Being a pleaser makes the moment pleasant-er, but it makes the future more tangled and hard to navigate.

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4 thoughts on ““The Truth Has Legs, It Will Always Stand”

  1. It’s interesting that there’s some overlap in goings on in our lives, given that we have some similar personality traits and weaknesses we’re trying to work on. The last few weeks at work have been stirring things that have been going on since I started here, and bringing them once again to the top,

    Yesterday, after waking up at 4:30 and not being able to go back to sleep with all of it rolling in my brain, I came into work, and sent one of the newest people in my department an e-mail regarding this idea she had about improving the departmental image. An idea that they discussed without me present (because I’m rarely able to go to dept meetings, given that to do that means finding someone else to cover the front desk), and, I’m pretty much the one that knows most about the situation (I’ve been here longer than almost of the people in the department, almost even put together) and I know how to fix it. The idea she has will not fix the problem, and is likely to make it worse, because its shows *exactly* how out of touch they are with the employees and that they don’t really think there *is* a problem.

    So, I sent a constructive (at least, I hope that’s how it’s seen) e-mail to this person, and even mentioned this was something of a “speaking truth to power” kind of moment,” where I was trusting her, and hoping I could get an ally, and actually fix the problem. Because, all my previous attempts, where I’ve blunted the truth and still met with nothing but defensiveness and then quickly dismissed and patronized, well, they taught me to give up trying to get them to see the reality of the mess. And that because I am so often forgotten to be part of their dept. by not only the employees (frankly, a good thing), but by *my own dept,* well, I feel pretty much the same way the employees feel.

    I felt much better having sent it, but, I’ve not yet heard anything back, so, there’s still some anxiety about what having told her the truth will bring. I’m not feeling confident that it will result in anything different than my previous attempts, but, saying nothing isn’t going to be of any help either.

    • Wow. I got the response back, and it was actually pretty positive. Well, hooray for that. Hopefully, there will be something to come of it.

  2. Pingback: The Rosie Project: Aspies and Aspie-Neurotics | Adventures of Auntie M

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