Playing the Fool

One of the roles in my life that I have the least patience for is playing the fool. When I was in the process of breaking up with (that’s code for “being dumped by”) someone I really loved, I remember saying to myself “I just don’t want to be the dumb girl who was the last to know that was what was going on.” There’s something of (wildly Catholic alert) the sin of pride, in that— I’m used to being smart about things, and I don’t like being the one who doesn’t know things, in love or otherwise. It’s a button for me, right or wrong. Continue reading

Outsourcing

One of the things I struggle with is outsourcing.

If you look closely at my habits, this is not surprising. When I order things at a restaurant, I never want to order something I can make better at home. I grow produce, I can whatever I am able to, I refinish my own furniture, I made my dad teach me how to change the oil on my car and change a tire (not that I actually do those things). My mother says that if there’s a choice of ways to do something, I’m never going to make it easy on myself. Continue reading