Apparently, It’s Second-Guess-Yourself Tuesday

While I’m exploring my feelings, let’s talk about this:

A few weeks ago, in response to my excited chatter about getting a dog, a friend said “I totally know what I’m going to get you for your birthday and Christmas! You’re never going to think of it, so I don’t have to worry that you’ll buy it by accident or get it from someone else, and you’ll totally love it!” I felt a little sick in the moment, the way only an English major does when foreshadowing happens in real life. Continue reading

Maybe It’s Me

Compared to me, my mom is wildly gregarious. For example, we went for brunch on Sunday. We needed to be somewhere close at 3:30, so at 3:15, I started moving her toward the door. It was one of those places where the servers bring you your check, but you need to pay up front. She hates that, so she dawdled at the table until I said, as gently as I knew how, “they’re not going to come take that up for you, we need to pay up front.” I had to say it a couple of times. Continue reading

Set in My Ways

At the risk of appearing cranky, I’d like to propose another suggestion for us to adopt, culturally speaking.

I was reading this very fine article about the “single habit,” and started thinking about my least favorite thing that we say about people who’ve been single for a long time.

“Oh, you know, s/he’s set in [his/her] ways.”

Now, I think the article writer gets at some of the legitimate issues related to this. Continue reading

Playing Small

There’s something coming together in me, and I don’t exactly know what it is, yet.

I had a conversation with one of the hiring managers, for the position I recently didn’t get. He offered that he’d talk to me about what stood between me and the job, and I thought it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

The conversation was interesting— he said that I’m not quite there in terms of “leadership presence.” And then he admitted that he couldn’t define that. And that I’m growing in that area every day, and a different person than I was three months ago.

Fundamentally, this is why it’s good that I applied for the job even though they didn’t hire me. Even if they would never have hired me for it. Because people see such a small part of what I have in me, day to day. And part of that is my fault.

Continue reading